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Part I | Part II | Part III

It was almost 1 o’clock in the morning and eventually I got to sleep. I was woken by an argument coming from the cubicle across from me. It seemed the man, Andy, (name changed) in this bed wished to escape. He had another man sitting next to him whose sole job was to keep Andy in his bed. I’m not sure what his name or job title was so we will just call him Psych Guy 1.

It was a little like this:

Andy: It’s not a prison. I pay the rent, I can leave whenever I want.

Psych Guy 1: No you can’t. You are in the Austin hospital and you are very sick.

Andy: That’s bullshit. [Sounds of struggle] YOU BASTARD! Let me go.

Psych Guy 1: You’re an involuntary patient. You have a serious infection and you’re not thinking straight.

Andy: You can’t keep me in here.

Andy tries to climb out of bed, brief struggle ensues, Psych Guy 1 proves to be stronger.

Psych Guy 1: Look, it’s three o’clock in the morning. The buses aren’t running at this time and nowhere is open. Can’t you wait until morning? And look you can watch TV.

Psych Guy 1 turns on the TV. Surprisingly, this seems to work and Andy shuts up until about five AM. Meanwhile, I have been regularly calling out to the nurses as the ward did not have a call button that I could use.

There is a changeover in the nursing staff and Psych Guy 2 takes over from Psych Guy 1. Andy starts giving me an increasing amount of crap about me calling out. Eventually, he gets quite abusive.

Andy: Stop whingeing you bastard.

Me: I’m just calling out to the nurse. I can’t use the buzzer. I’m sorry if I have disturbed you.

Andy: Arsehole.

Me: I have Duchenne muscular dystrophy, I can’t move, this is the only way I can get the nurses attention, sorry.

Andy: Damn thief.

Thief? This conversation had taken a bizarre turn. Part of me was wondering whether he was a fundamentalist libertarian who believed that seriously disabled people don’t deserve respect because they are a drain on the economy – no that couldn’t possibly be it. Things go missing in hospital all the time maybe he was just looking for a convenient person to blame for his missing socks.

Me: I can’t move. I could not possibly have stolen anything from you.

Andy: That’s crap Phil. It wasn’t just anything it was money.

Phil? Interesting. Was he addressing somebody else? No, he was definitely answering me. Maybe he calls people Phil as a term of endearment, or if he doesn’t know their name? And what about the money?

Me: Do I owe you money?

Andy: Yes.

I was thinking that maybe his wallet went missing and he was short a maximum of 50 bucks. If he threatened me maybe it would be easier just to pay him off, well it was an option anyway.

Me: How much do I owe you?

Andy: 60 or 70 thousand dollars.

Holy fuck. He’s going to kill me. I must be like a character in his delusion. If you thought somebody had stolen $70,000 off you and they were just lying there… would you get violent? Some probably wouldn’t, but a large percentage would and Andy wasn’t exactly the sanest person around. Only Psych Guy 2 stood between me and certain death. The only problem was Psych Guy 2 just wasn’t as competent as Psych Guy 1.

End of part II

Part I | Part II | Part III